Fat Pat Read online

  Patricia thought about this for a minute. "Yeah, sometimes." she said. "I was pretty young then and Katie was only three." She patted her stomach. "But I've got his legacy, that's for sure."

  Now Mr. Dunsford looked out at the park too. "The fact is, we're not too sure how much of that is hereditary and how much is psychological and environmental." I didn't understand what this meant but I could see that Patricia did. We were right near a newsstand that also sold lots of chocolate bars and chips and stuff like that. Mr. Dunsford waved his hand at all the signs advertising MARS bars, SNICKERS and FRITTOS and said "And all this advertising doesn't help one bit." Then he looked right at Patricia all serious and shook his head. "But you're definitely not a fat person. You're not even overweight."

  Patricia gave him that soft look where she knows someone's right. "I guess I just wish I looked better." she said.

  Mr. Dunsford reached over to the newsstand and picked up a fashion magazine. "See this girl here?" He held up the back page of the magazine showing a pretty girl wearing really tight jeans.

  "Yeah, that's what I wish I looked like." Patricia said.

  "Let me tell you something." Mr. Dunsford tapped his finger on the picture. "She doesn't even look like this." Patricia looked confused. He folded the magazine in half so you could only see her legs. "Do you think anyone's legs can be that long? She's got a size one half foot there. It's all artwork by very skilled people. This isn't a real girl."

  "Hey buddy," the man from the newsstand yelled at Mr. Dunsford, "You gonna buy that or what?"

  Mr. Dunsford unfolded the magazine and squinted at the price then his eyes went all round. "You want $7.99 for this?"

  The man held his hand out. "I get thirty-five cents. It ain’t personal, it's just business."

  Mr. Dunsford got ten dollars out of his wallet and gave it to the man. Just then Patricia saw me and we both kind of laughed behind our hands. Mr. Dunsford folded the magazine the other way so you could see the top half of the girl. "I'll bet this isn't even her head and and look, they've given her sticks for arms. "I've seen how these things are made." he said. "I have a niece who works for a magazine in New York," He flipped through the pages and we saw flashes of girls in bathing suits and girls in long dresses and girls in all sorts of outfits. "It's all faked." he said. He showed us the girl in the jeans again. "Nobody really wants to be like this. This woman can't eat in a restaurant or she'll lose her job. She has to be very very careful at parties; no staying up late -- bags under the eyes you know. You don't really strike me as the kind of person who would always be willing to do what other people tell you to do." He tapped the jeans girl's picture with his finger. "That's what she has to do - and they still have to fix her up with Photoshop.

  Patricia thought about this for a minute then took out her phone, clicked some buttons and handed it to Mr. Dunsford. I got on tip toes so I could see too. It was Angela Scully's Facebook page. Patricia had scrolled down to where it showed that really weird picture Angela took of her at the beach before Patricia got her new bathing suit and below it it said Fat Pat's where it's at - NOT!

  Mr. Dunsford laughed and Patricia started to get a bit weird again. He clicked some buttons and showed her the phone. It was another Facebook page and it said Mr. Bumford's bum's a Ford.

  "That's just stupid." Patricia said.

  Mister Bumsford clicked some buttons on the phone and handed it back to Patricia. This time it showed a pretty funny cartoon of Mr. Bumsford stuffed inside a little car with his butt squeezing out all the windows. We both laughed. "That boy has a great future as a cartoonist and right there he's making fun of me." Mr. Bumsford said. "That's what we all have to put up with. Life is like that. Do you think everyone is going to be nice and kind and think you're perfect all the time?"

  "No, I guess not."

  "We see people who post that kind of nonsense at school all the time. The reason you think you're fat is because you're trying to identify and solve your problems like any intelligent person would. People who post this kind of stuff don't do that; they just put their problems on someone else to make themselves feel better. But sooner or later they will have to face it too."

  Patricia snapped her phone shut and stuck it in her pocket then said "I just wish I could think of some real smart comment to hit Angela with."

  "Oh I'm sure you can, but I also suspect that it's not your style to waste your time sinking to that level. You've got more class than that."

  It was different after that; Patricia and me and Mr. Bumsford walked back home and after a while we were all laughing and making jokes and everything.

  Patricia went to school the next day and she seemed to be fine; like nothing had happened. She was friendlier to me even.

  I hope I get Mr. Bumsford when I get into high school; he's great. I won't make such a fuss though. I mean my braces make me look like a real metal mouth and I'm a bit too tall maybe but that means I can see better at parades and stuff and I won't have to wear Patricia's hand me down clothes which is good because they're already like waaaay out of style.

  And I think my feet are big.

  Maybe my chest is kinda flat too.

  **